


I Thought We Knew This

by Noel_Ainsley823125



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Victorian, Awkward Flirting, Crossdressing, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Shyness, Slow Build, Smut, Virgin Eren Yeager
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 06:38:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15657807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noel_Ainsley823125/pseuds/Noel_Ainsley823125
Summary: Eren lives with his best friend and mistress Mikasa, paid to be her escort and keep her out of trouble. He loves to ogle at men just as much as she does, but being gay is frowned upon by nearly everyone. So of course, Eren dresses as a woman himself so that he can flirt with men right alongside his friend. All that's fine until other people ask if he wants to work for them.





	1. Chapter 1

Eren gasped softly for air, hissing as his fists clenched the handle on the rolling tea cart, “Blazes, Mikasa!” He shouted, “That hurts!   
  


“You’re the one who wanted it,” she snapped, grunting, “Hold still,”

 

He groaned softly, hanging his head, “Would you hurry up? I can’t breathe.”

 

She rolled her eyes and gave one last sharp tug, “I warned you this one was-”

 

“Ow!”

 

Mikasa tied the bow of the corset and sighed, wiping her brow and taking a step back, “Smaller… I can’t believe your hips are so narrow now. You actually have the body of a girl,”

 

“Then why does it hurt so much to wear?” He sighed, reaching for the breast implants and slipping them in place, “Hand me my bustle and a camisole?”

 

“You’re lucky I like you,” she teased, helping him in to the crinoline before letting him dress himself. “What color petticoats and gown do you want today?”

 

“Blue and gray I think,” he hummed going to look through the colors, “Yes. Blue and gray,” He picked out his petticoats and dressed himself, then had Mikasa help him with the gown. Taking a deep breath, he looked at himself in the mirror, “There,” he flashed her a smile, “It looks alright, doesn’t it?” He smoothed his hands down his chest and sides.

 

“It looks more than fine,” she rolled her eyes, “I wish you looked a little _less_ fine.” She slipped on her gloves and picked up her fan, handing Eren’s fan to him.

 

Eren hated wearing gloves. He liked to touch things and hold things between his fingers. The older ladies on the streets were not particularly fond of that, but some of the girls on the street he talked to were interested in the idea. “Can we go now?”

 

Mikasa sighed softly, shaking her head and walking through the house with him, taking him outside and linking their arms. Make up done, dressed up in long sleeved dresses despite the warm air, fans closed and in hand, making their way down the street. “Someday, I’ll take my walks alone, and maybe someone will introduce  _ me _ to a man instead of introducing you,” 

 

Eren chuckled, smiling as he looked around, “What can I say? People are attracted to me.”

 

“Then why haven’t you been courted?” She teased back, grinning.

 

They continued walking down the street, arm in arm, talking about Mikasa’s jealousy and Eren’s good looks. They walked through the park and Eren turned his head to look towards the street. A raven haired man stood beside a coach, a large blonde standing beside him. Eren stopped walking, wanting to get a better look. Mikasa looked over, following his gaze until she smirked, “Tall hunk or small and petite?”

 

Eren looked more closely at the blonde. Sharp jaw and polite smile, large hands taking off his top hat before disappearing into the coach. “Well, it had been the small and petite, but he’s not to bad either,” 

 

The raven paused before getting in the coach, turning his head to look around, eyes falling on the girls. He let himself a bemused smile, bowing slightly to the ladies before climbing in the coach.

 

Eren’s eyes darted away and he blushed, continuing walking, “We were staring,” he muttered, “He caught us staring,”

 

“It’s rude, not a sin,” Mikasa laughed softly, walking alongside him.


	2. Chapter 2

Eren flipped through the mail, looking over the letters and invitations. He opened one and sat down in a chair while Mikasa practiced the piano, “Well… One of the officers from last week has written you a love poem,” he noted with a small chuckle, setting it aside before looking through them again, pulling out another and reading it, “And your parents want to know if I'm keeping you out of trouble. They're going to Italy soon.”

 

“No fair, I want to go to Italy,” Mikasa chuckled, turning the page in her book as she continued.

 

Eren smiled and opened a third, “We could go to a private party tonight? Apparently it's by invitation only, and we have to take the letter if we want in.”

 

Mikasa hummed softly and thought it over, “Well I have nothing better to do. Would you dress down for me though? That officer is the only admirer I've had in a month and I'm starting to get jealous.”

 

“What do you mean ‘starting to’?” Eren asked with a laugh, continuing to go through their mail.

  
  


They ended up going to the party after much debate, and Eren dressed in a deep sapphire color while Mikasa chose a crimson. They didn't exactly stand out among the deep purple and emerald dresses or other gorgeous women there, but it wasn't bad.

 

A pair of drunk men stood in front of them, trying desperately to make them laugh. Eren felt bad for them, mostly because they only  _ thought _ they were funny.

 

He smiled behind his fan and chuckled softly, eyes drifting around the room. Men and women clothed in fancy evening clothes, donning their silver and gold. He hummed softly, fingers subtly touching Mikasa’s skirt for comfort that she was still beside him. He stopped to look at a group of men, wondering if any of them didn’t have an interest in women, and had a better sense of humor. It wasn’t exactly appropriate to ask if a man was a gay, so Eren at times had to take his best guess.

 

A dark haired man with slicked black hair reached down with his left hand, taking the hand of another man beside him, tall and blonde. Eren’s fan slowed as he stopped to watch. Men didn’t hold hands, especially in public. In the shorter man’s other hand was a glass of wine which he drank from, the red contrasting his pale lips. As he drank, his head turned, glancing around the room, eyes dancing person to person, skimming over Eren and his group before pausing and going back to them.

 

Eren recognized him as the man who had caught him staring before. He quickly looked away and began fanning himself again, trying not to look over again. He turned to Mikasa when her conversation went quiet, putting the fan between his lips and her ear, “The men from the park,” he murmured, “They’re here. The small one was looking at me,”

 

Mikasa looked over slowly, smiling as she looked at Eren, “He’s still looking. I believe they’re coming to talk.”

 

Eren’s eyes shot up at her, “ _ They _ ? Both of them?”

 

Mikasa chuckled, nodding, “Yes. Both of them,” she looked away, towards the gentlemen who they had been talking with.

 

“Excuse us, gentlemen, could you introduce us to these young ladies?” Came a voice from Eren’s left. He looked over, finding the blonde looking at the two in front of them. He was much more handsome up close. Bright blue eyes and a chiseled jaw, perfectly shaped eyebrows and nose and chin. Roguishly handsome. He gave both men a dashing smile that could have had Eren swooning.

 

Neither of the men before them could manage to say no. Instead, they took several steps back, letting them introduce themselves, not looking too happy about it.

 

Mikasa held out her hand to the blonde and smiled, introducing herself to both him and the raven before introducing Eren. Both men kissed her hand and then the blonde held his out to Eren, giving him the same charming smile. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Jaeger.”

 

Eren took a deep breath and smiled, trying not to blush any darker than the rouge on his cheeks, “Likewise, Mister Smith,” He set his hand in Erwin’s, surprised when he kissed the back of it but not disappointed. When he let go, he stepped back and let the other man introduce himself. He was shorter than Eren, even when he wasn’t wearing heels. More than that, his hair was so black it was nearly blue, and his skin paler than anyone in the room. Yet, his lips were staining red from his wine and his eyes sparkled. Eren’s favorite thing about the stranger were his eyes. Gray. Nearly silver. Gleaming. He’d never seen silver in eyes before. 

 

“Glad to make your acquaintance, ma’am,”

 

“Likewise, mister...”

 

“Just Levi, please,”

 

Eren smiled at him offering his hand, “Call me Eren. I don't like my last name,”

 

Levi took his hand and pressed his lips to the back of it, not a kiss, just the feeling of soft skin on skin, “It’s a pleasure, Eren.”

 

They talked quietly for a long while drinking and picking at trays. Finally, Levi took Eren for a walk around the room, hands to themselves. 

 

“Eren, may I ask you something?” Levi asked, sipping at his wine, looking over Eren’s body.

 

“You just did,” Eren smiled, “But I believe you could ask something else.”

 

Levi scoffed softly, lowering his glass as his eyes danced away, “I don’t mean to be so bold, but the neckline of your dress is rather high for an evening dress. I would’ve thought someone as pretty as yourself would want to show off all their attributes. Why don’t you?”

 

Eren blushed and absently touched the neckline of his dress, “Well… I don't want to draw attention away from Ms. Ackerman,” he said slowly.

 

Levi hummed softly at that, “I see… May I note something else?”

 

Eren nodded his consent.

 

“Your hands are ungloved, unlike every other woman in this room…”

 

Eren's neck grew hot. This had never been addressed by a man before. They didn't notice something as small as that. He began to worry that Levi had noticed other things.

 

“I believe,” he started, “You keep your hands ungloved because you’re curious. You want to touch things, to know how things feel. You like the feeling of the soft fabric on your friend’s dress, and the touch of flower petals,”

 

Eren didn’t know if he should be offended or enthralled. He stayed silent, looking at the floor.

 

“Did you like the feeling of my lips on your hand?” Levi asked softly, “Or my eyes on your body?”

 

“I don't believe that talk should be directed towards me,” Eren gave a polite smile, internally screaming and willing the blush on his cheeks to go away, continuing walking, “I think I've mislead you. I'm by no means someone worth being courted. I'm just an escort.”

 

“I'd still like to learn about you, Eren,” Levi insisted, “Maybe over champagne?”

 

Eren shook his head with a smile, “No, I don't drink spirits. But we could step out to the garden where it's quieter?” He suggested.

 

Levi smiled at that and held his arm to Eren, leading him out to the gardens.

 

“Miss Ackerman is my mistress, you see, though she's my best friend,” Eren smiled, keeping his arm hooked with Levi's as they walked, “My parents worked for hers, so we grew up playing together. When I was old enough, I began to work for her. I'm her escort. Her parents want me to keep her out of trouble.”

 

Levi chuckled at that, glancing back at the house where the lady in question was lacking supervision, “And what a fine job you're doing.”

 

Eren looked back and chuffed out a breath, “Yeah… She really can take care of herself. She's getting tired of me hovering. Soon she'll find a man and won't need me anymore. I'll stick around, mostly run errands, and I'm sure she'll need a nanny in the future.”

 

“You've stopped talking about yourself. What will you be doing? Finding a man and raising some of your own?”

 

Eren turned back towards the garden and shook his head, “No. I can't have my own unfortunately,” he offered a smile and decided to sit at one of the tables, “Honestly, I could probably be a nun,”

 

Levi stayed silent, surprised and not knowing what to say.

 

The look on his face made Eren laugh and cover his mouth, “I'm kidding, Levi. I'm kidding. I just don't have the highest of hopes for myself is all,”

 

“What a sad thing to say,” Levi hummed softly, letting a pause fill the air, “Would you ever consider another employer? Someone who could use your services?”

 

Eren hummed softly, looking at the table, “I'd only leave of she asked me to. Even if I was miserable and hated her husband, I'd stay. We've never been apart, and I don't know how I'd do without her.”

 

Levi nodded and sat across from him at the table, “I see. Well, Eren… If you ever find yourself looking for another job, you should consider working for me.”

 

Eren chuckled and looked up at him, “I mean no offense, but I don't know you.”

 

“I'd be more than happy to share if that's what you wanted.”

 

Eren figured he had the time and nothing better to do, so he nodded at Levi.

 

“I help maintain a large estate out in the country. The staff is small, but they're all good people. I currently only have one woman working for me though, and I'm trying to find someone to work with her. Other than that, there's not much to tell.”

 

Eren smiled and chuckled, “I'm sure there's more to you than that.”

 

“Maybe, but if I told you any more there wouldn't be any mystery left.”

 

Eren tucked a stray hair behind his ear, blushing softly, “Are you relying on your mystery do keep me interested?” 

 

Someone called out from the house and Levi looked back, ignoring his question, “That would be Erwin… I suppose we should be getting back,”

 

Eren stood up and began walking back to the house with Levi, “Well… Thank you for tonight. I can gladly say I enjoyed the evening.”

 

Levi smiled at stopped him a little ways away from where Erwin stood, leaning down and kissing his hand, “I hope I see you again soon, Eren.”

 

Eren smiled and gave a small curtsy, “Until next time, Levi.”


	3. Chapter 3

Eren paced the room, kicking off his heels when they got too annoying, “Buy me? They want to buy me from you?” Eren exclaimed, “I can't- Oh my God...” he huffed, trying to shed more layers of clothes to get to his corset, “I can't breathe… I can't leave!” He threw his hands up in the air in frustration before flopping down on the sofa. 

 

It'd been three weeks since they'd formally met Levi and Erwin at the party and had been exchanging letters since, most of them hand delivered by someone who worked for Levi. Levi worked for Erwin, and both were interested in hiring Eren. This time, the sent an offer, one payment to Mikasa for compensation, and one to Eren as a starting wage. Sane people would've snatched up the offer and drooled over the money, but Eren was too emotionally attached to think about it.

 

Mikasa stepped out from behind the changing rack, now wearing her nightgown and combing her fingers through her hair, “Why can't you?”

 

Eren looked up at her, his chest hurting a little. From emotion, not the corset. “Well thank you. I thought we were friends and you wanted me here, but I see I was wrong,” he chuckled, looking away and sighing, covering his face.

 

She rolled her eyes, going to sit beside him, “We are friends and you are wanted here,” she sighed and rubbed his thigh, “But I think Mr. Small Feet and Mr. Big Brows want you a little more,” she pursed her lips and looked at Eren as pitying as she could manage.

 

Eren looked over and met her gaze for a brief moment before laughing and pushing her away gently, “You're awful!”

 

“But Eren-” She giggled with him, “You didn't see the way they looked at you! They're going to be heart broken of you don't go.”

 

“Let them be heartbroken,” he hummed, pulling Mikasa down and hugging her, “Save you the pain.”

 

Mikasa sighed again and patted his chest, “I would miss you terribly, but they said you'd be allowed two days off a week, so you could come visit. And, if they fired you, you could always come back to me, Eren,” she finished softly.

 

Eren closed his eyes, kissing her forehead, “I don't want to go. There won't be anyone there I can tell about myself. No one will know… And what if they're like all the other men who grope their girls? What if they try to sleep with me? They could get me sent to prison,” he murmured, horrified with his own train of thought.

 

Mikasa sat up, her hair falling in her face, “Eren,” she met his eyes, the corners of her lips curled up, “Honestly? You'd love it of they groped and fucked you. And I thought we decided they were interested in each other? So just relax. Don't worry about it.”

 

Eren frowned deeply, “Still… I'm going to be lonely and nervous. I'm going to miss you.”

 

She kissed his nose softly and laid down on top of him, laying her ear over his chest listening to his heart beat, “I'll miss you too,” she sighed and closed her eyes, “I think it'd be good for you though. You'd keep busy and make new friends. You won't have to keep babysitting me.”

 

Eren looked up at the ceiling, smoothing her hair. He still felt somewhat betrayed that he was being pawned off for money, but he knew Mikasa wasn't like that. If she wanted him to go, it was because she thought it would be best for him.

 

* * *

 

 

Eren was moved in by the end of the week. Not that it had been a long process. Some papers and three trunks of Eren's belongings. He took a cart to the house after dinner one night with his things, Levi greeting him at the gate with Erwin.

 

The pair of them took his things and led him the rest of the way to their home. 

 

If Eren hadn't been so upset, he might have marveled at it. A four story manor with a large porch and balconies. It looked like a castle more than a house, overlooking acres of land, a garden, and stables.

 

“Tomorrow, Erwin and I will introduce you to the staff. They've already turned in for the night. We won't have you start working tomorrow though, we'll give you a couple days to adjust before asking you to work,” Levi explained.

 

Eren nodded glumly and stared at his feet as he walked behind them, “Thank you.”

 

“There are some rules we should go over first though, Eren,” Erwin said, “We allow the staff personal time after dinner until bed. We ask that you go to bed at nine and stay in your room until six. The manor is said to be haunted and we would like to keep all our staff members,”

 

Eren looked up at him with a quizzical brow, “Haunted?”

 

“Additionally, all bedrooms are prohibited if it's not yours. This ensures privacy. We each clean our own bedrooms so that nobody has any reason to go in. So, bedrooms are off limits, but you're free to the rest of the house,” Levi added.

 

Erwin nodded thoughtfully, “You're also welcome to anything inside the house as long as the chores are done. In your spare time, you're more than welcome to the books in the library, the piano, or the stables.”

 

“And the kitchen. If you get hungry, please eat,” Levi took a few steps up the front porch and opened the front door for Eren, “Welcome home, Eren.”

 

Eren was overwhelmed to say the least, but he kept his mouth shut. He stepped inside and looked around in awe at the grand foyer. The place was spotless and sparkling and filled with elegance and charm, “It's… Beautiful…” He admitted reluctantly. 

 

Erwin gave him a charming smile and offered him his hand at the bottom of the steps, “Let me show you to your room.”

 

Eren nodded and took his hand slowly, trying not to click his heels too loudly on the wood steps. 

 

Erwin led him up the main staircase and then through to another one to a third floor tower, “Each of the staff members has their own wing. We only had one more so it seemed only fitting to give it to you. There's a bathroom and a bedroom up here, as well as a small reading nook that you can fill with whatever books you please, either your own or from the library. Nobody but you is allowed in your room without your permission.” He stopped in front of Eren’s door and set down one of his trunks while Levi set down the other two.

 

“Let us know if you need anything or have any questions, Eren. We'd be more than happy to help. Even if it's something small like the silence. Petra had that problem and we got her a music box. We want you to be happy here,” Levi offered him a warm smile.

 

Eren nodded slowly and looked around, “Thank you, both of you. I appreciate all of this.” He did to an extent, but he was still bitter about leaving Mikasa and he blamed Levi. 

 

“We'll let you unpack and get to bed,” Erwin gave a little bow, “Excuse us,”

 

Eren nodded, “Goodnight and thank you,” he managed to give them both a small smile before they left, then sighed and let it fall as he turned back to his bedroom.

 

After an hour of unpacking, Eren laid down to go to sleep in his new bed. Eren didn't like this bed as much as the one back at Mikasa’s house. It was too soft and felt like trying to sleep on a cloud you kept slipping through. He tossed and turned and tried every way possible to fall asleep, but he couldn't manage to do it. Eventually, he got out of bed and lit a candle, taking it down the hallway, exploring a little.

 

He peeked inside rooms with open doors and in rooms that weren't bedrooms. He went to the kitchen and ate a grape before returning to his room. He was finally tired and about to fall asleep when he heard it, a low moan echo through the house. He nearly jumped out of his skin, goosebumps rising everywhere and his hair standing on end. It sounded like a ghost, or a wailing spirit. It came again, this time with the **thud thud thud** of footsteps and the rattling of chains.  All he could imagine was a poor soul being tortured, screaming and wailing, begging for the pain to stop arms straining, pulling on chains that bound them.

 

Eren’s eyes watered and he pulled the covers up over his head, closing his eyes and starting to pray frantically. The sounds didn't stop, but he also wasn't attacked or murdered, so Eren kept praying. Two hours he prayed before the noise stopped, but by that time, he couldn't fall asleep.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Erwin came in to get him, taking him down to the kitchen to meet the rest of their staff and eat some breakfast. To his surprise, Levi was cutting strawberries beside a blonde haired girl cutting apples. Lords never did their own work. They always had the help do it. Eren had never seen a Lord or Lady helping their staff in his life. 

Erwin introduced him to Eld, the Butler with the charming smile. Gunther the groundskeeper, who scared the hell out of Eren, looked like he could be protective. Oulo, who looked like a weird preppy version of Levi and was… Well, he came with Petra. And last but not least Petra, who was the only girl in the house. She maintained the kitchen and cleaned the house with Oulo. 

Her eyes lit up when she saw Eren and hugged him immediately, “Finally! I won't be the only girl here!”

Eren chuckled softly and hugged her back, surprised and still exhausted from not sleeping, “It's nice to meet you. I'm Eren.”

The girl pulled back and flashed a grin at him, “Petra. Are you hungry? We're about to start breakfast.”

Eren nodded, smiling a little, “Yes please.”

Petra handed him the silverware and she grabbed the dishes, leading him to the formal dining room where she set plates for the seven of them. Eren was even more shocked that they were eating with Levi and Erwin. He used to eat with Mikasa all the time but he had been more of her friend than her service.

Petra grinned and took Eren hand again, leading him back to the kitchen, “I know, it's shocking.  I promise you'll get used to it,” 

Eren loved the dynamic in the home. It was just like his. Everyone was family. There wasn't a complete separation of the nobility. He liked watching Levi tease Petra and seeing the way Oulo got jealous. He liked the gentle smile on Erwin’s lips as he watched Levi. He liked how Eld and Gunther tried to hide their smiles and the fact that they were holding hands under the table. He truly felt he could be comfortable here and wished more than anything that Mikasa was there to experience it with him. 

After breakfast, Petra showed him around a bit more and taught him in depth how they cared for the home. Apparently Levi had really bad allergies so they had to keep the dust nonexistent, otherwise he'd cough up a bloody lung. Erwin managed a large company and was usually in his office, so they frequently made sure he had everything he needed to be comfortable in there.

They had ten horses in the barn, two outdoor cats, and sometimes a stray dog. Levi usually tended to them, but they were looking for someone to fill that slot. Eren was more than welcome to do that if he'd like. Or he was welcome to any chores in the house at his desire.

More than anything, he wanted to work as the stable boy. Or girl, as far as they knew. He loved to work with horses. He'd get to groom and ride and feed them. Sure he'd have to do some dirty work, but it was a small price to pay.

After the tour, Petra took him back inside to teach him the basics of tea making. Levi and Erwin both took tea at ten and lunch at noon, and that job rotated between the staff depending on what kind of tea Levi was in the mood for. He was very particular about how it was made and how it tasted, so Petra made vanilla, Eld made peppermint, Gunther made Lavender, and Levi only trusted white raspberry to himself. Oulo wasn't aloud to make the tea because he sucked at everything.

Eren asked if he could do tea time that day and Petra agreed since Levi hadn't specified what kind he wanted. Eren made a few different kinds. Hibiscus was his favorite to make so he made the most of that, and samples of the others. Petra set different kinds of cookies on the plate along with the tea and set Eren on his way.

He walked down the halls and made sure his heels didn't click too loudly, being careful not to so much as splash the tea. Once at the door of Erwin's office, he took the tray in one hand and knocked softly, smoothing his dress and taking a breath.  _ Don't fuck up. Don't fuck up. _

“Come in.”

Eren turned the doorknob and swung the door open gently, stepping inside and closing it behind before taking the tray to Erwin's desk. He wasn't exactly surprised to find Erwin sitting on one side and Levi on the other, but if Petra hadn't warned him, he may have been.  He set the tray down and stepped off to the side, staring ahead at the bookcases on the other side of the room. 

Levi looked up from a paper and looked at the tea with mild interest. He took each cup one at a time and took a taste, occasionally trying it with a cookie. It was deadly silent and Eren briefly wondered if he should've only made one tea.

“Eren,” Erwin hummed softly, swirling a cup in his hand.

Eren turned his gaze back to the blonde and bowed his head a tad, “Yes sir?”

“Just Erwin is fine,” he smiled, holding out his cup filled with pink liquid, “Is this hibiscus?”

Eren's neck burned with anticipation and he nodded, “Yes. The steeped leaves along with other things.”

“Really?” He inquired, taking a small sip and smiling at him again, “Well, it's the best tea I've ever had.”

Eren's eyes widened in pleasant surprise and he smiled a little bit, “Oh? I'm really glad to hear that,” he blushed a bit and dropped his gaze, “Thank you.”

Levi sat in his seat with each teacup lined up in a row, scrutinizing them with furrowed brows, “Lavender, chamomile, vanilla, peppermint, hibiscus, and black. Correct?”

Eren nodded, folding his hands in front of him, “Yes sir.”

Levi hummed, folding his hands and staring at them more, “Are you particularly busy at the moment, Eren?”

Eren shook his head, “No sir. I finished my tour of the house and you told me not to worry about chores until tomorrow,”

Levi nodded, taking a paper and a pen, scribbling something down and handing it to Eren. “I would like you to make those teas and bring them back to us please.”

Eren took the paper and gave them a curtsy, “Yes sir,” he murmured, taking the note and excusing himself.

He hurried down the hall quietly and read the note as he went. Petra stood in the kitchen polishing the silver and looked up at Eren in surprise, “That was quick… Is everything alright?”

Eren looked over the note, “He wants me to make more. Lemon balm, rose, and white raspberry. There's a recipe for that one but it doesn't look right.”

Petra set down the silver and rushed to Eren's side, looking over the note, “More? Did he like the last ones?” She paused and read further, tapping the recipe, “I'll warn you,  _ don't  _ stray from this recipe. That's exactly how Levi drinks it  _ if _ it's made right.”

“Well he drinks it wrong,” Eren wrinkled his nose, pulling down different jars of leaves and kinds of sugars and berries and zests and petals. Petra took off to stoke the fire and get more water boiling.

Eren steeped and stirred the first two until they were ready and read over the recipe once more. He made one the way the instructions said, and one his own way. He took another tray back to the office, knocking and entering. 

He set the tray down for Levi and stepped back again, watching him sip at them.

Erwin looked amused but kept quiet, glancing between the two. 

Levi sipped between the two white teas until they were gone, and then looked over all the rest, “Eren?”

“Yes sir.”

“Who taught you to make tea?”

Eren's neck burned and his stomach sank. He hated it. Fuck. He hated it. “My… My mother, sir…”

Levi looked up at Eren with glimmering eyes and offered him a small smile, “My compliments to her teaching. This is the best damn tea I've ever had,”

“Language, Levi,” Erwin chuckled.

“This is the best  _ fucking _ tea I've ever had,” Levi exclaimed, “Every  _ fucking _ cup! What did you do to the white tea though?”

“I used liquid cane sugar instead of caster and steeped it hot, not cold. I didn't add anything of the extras either, just the white tea leaves and raspberry itself,” Eren tried not to blush or grin ear to ear, “Do you really like it?”

Levi smiled, a true bright smile, “I do. You'll have to start bringing us our tea in the mornings, and maybe in the afternoons too. Thank you, Eren.”

Eren gave a small curtsy and flashed then both a brilliant grin, “Thank you.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

Eren came out of his bathroom humming a soft tune, brushing his hair. It fell past his shoulders, pin straight and thick. He braided it and opened his dresser, pulling out a new set of pajamas and turning around.

 

Levi was standing beside the open door, leaning against the wall, a brow raised at Eren.

 

Eren jumped when he saw Levi and nearly screamed,  turning around instantly and holding his robe shut though it was already tied, “What are you doing?” He asked quickly, “I thought you said you wouldnt come in my room!”

 

Levi was both amused and worried, “Your door wasn't shut all the way. I didn't know you were in the bath or I wouldn't have waited for you. Would you like me to leave?”

 

Eren stepped behind a changing screen and took a breath, “That depends… Why were you waiting for me?”

 

“Erwin's chocolate shipment came in today. Once a month we all sit down and eat some together. We wanted to know if you'd like to join us?”

 

Eren stuck his head out from behind the rack, “Chocolate?”

 

Levi nodded.

 

Eren furrowed his brows, “Does it… Taste good? Is it worth eating?”

 

Levi's eyes widened but he chuckled, “Just get dressed. You'll have to come try it yourself.” He stepped out and closed the door, leaving Eren to dress.

 

Eren threw on his pajamas and robe before stepping out, finding Levi waiting in the hall. 

 

He offered him his arm and walked down the steps with him, “I'm sorry for barging in your room. I wouldn't if I had known-”

 

Eren shook his head, “Its okay. You said I left the door open, so it's my fault,” he walked with Levi down to the drawing room where there was laughter and shadows being cast from a brightly lit fire. “Are you sure… Are you sure I'm welcome in there?” He asked softly, stopping, looking up at Levi, “If it's your tradition I don't want to impose. I don't want you to feel obligated to include me.”

 

Levi picked up Erens chin, smoothing his thumb over his cheek, “Remember what we said the other day when you came? We want you here. We're glad you're here. You're part of this place now. We want to include you and make you feel welcome. I promise, everyone in there is happy to share with you.”

 

“You're not in there,” Eren pointed out quietly.

 

Levi smirked and dropped his hand, continuing to walk with Eren, “I share too, don't worry.”

 

Eren went in with him and relaxed a bit, still holding on tight to his arm.

 

Everyone in the room was in their pajamas, including Erwin. He sat by the fire with a big box, arms folded and smiling as he talked to Eld.

 

Gunther was laying on the couch, his head on Eld's lap as he ran his fingers through his hair, eyes half closed.

 

Petra was laughing with Oulo, shaking her head. When she saw Eren she stood up abruptly and threw her arms open, “You came! We weren't sure you would. Levi can be standoffish sometimes. Come, sit!”

 

Eren let go of Levi's arm and let himself be dragged into the room, sitting beside Petra and looking around. He noticed Gunther and Eld, eyes lingering. They were so… Open… Maybe that was a thing guys did though? Like he had with Mikasa… Maybe it was acceptable. He didn't know and couldn't help but stare.

 

Levi sat next to Erwin, waiting for the blonde to look at him fully. “Eren’s never had chocolate before,” he said, and silenced the room. Everyone turned to look at him and Eren’s face flushed red, but he didn't say anything. 

 

Petra rubbed his arm, “That's alright, love. Neither had I before I came here. You'll love it though, I promise! There's so many kinds to choose from too!”

 

Eren glanced up at her and to the others. Erwin was now opening the box. He took out a couple ice pieces that were melting and placed then in a metal container, pulling out several things and handing the box to Levi. He took them to Eren and offered them to him with a smile, “Here, try a little bit of everything. If you find something you like, you can have the whole bar.”

 

Eren looked up at him with wide eyes and hesitantly took them. They were cold and smooth in their package, and he set them on a table, looking at them all.

 

Levi passed out the rest of the chocolate and Petra opened Erens bars for him, breaking off small pieces for him.

 

Eren hesitantly picked up a piece and put it in his mouth. It melted a little, and he let it melt a bit more before eating it, trying not to make a face. It wasn't bad, but it was great.

 

Petra laughed softly, “Okay, he doesn't like dark chocolate.”

 

He tried a few more, loving the other kinds. They were all smooth and sweet and better than anything he'd ever tasted. He liked the regular milk chocolate the best and Petra gave him the bar before folding the others up and setting them by the ice. She had to warn him not to eat it all at once, and it was hard.

 

He nibbled the best he could and grinned all the while, looking around while the room filled with noise again.

 

Erwin started talking to Gunther, who had sat up and started eating again, and Petra was back at it with Oulo. He glanced at Levi and found he was staring right at him. His face heated up again and he looked away quickly.

 

For an hour or two everyone talked and ate. Levi brought milk to wash it all down, and then everyone packed up and started going to bed.

 

Eren was a little nervous about going back to his room, scared of the ghost in the halls. He stood by the door and looked out into the hallway, Erwin setting a hand on his back, “Would you like me to walk you back upstairs?”

 

He nodded a bit and smiled, “Yes please. Thank you. And thank you for the chocolate. It was the best thing I've ever eaten.”

 

Erwin smiled and escorted him down the hall, “There's things better than chocolate, I think.”

 

Eren raised a brow, amused, “Do you?”

 

“Caramel,” he hummed softly.

 

“Caramel?” Eren repeated, skeptical, “That's a made up word.”

 

Erwin smiled, “All words are made up. But really. Caramel is a new type of candy. I'll buy some soon and let you try some.”

 

Eren hummed softly and walked back to his room quietly. He thanked Erwin as he stepped inside and said goodnight. He closed the door and tucked into bed, lighting a candle and closing his eyes with a smile. 

* * *

 

By the end of the second week, Eren was set in his schedule. He was in the stables from eight to noon, went in to wash up for lunch and to make tea, and back out again from two till six, when he went back in for supper. After supper he washed the dishes, insisting on it.

 

Sunday night, after doing his normal chores and helping Petra with her dusting, Eren did the dishes after dinner and then mopped up the floor since he'd splashed some water. He had a smile on his lips but his eyes were getting heavy.

 

“Stop cleaning Eren,” Levi chuckled, stepping over him to put a glass in the sink, offering his hand to help him up. Eren dried his hands on his skirt and took Levi's hand to stand up. “You know, there's better things for you to do on your knees.” Eren snapped his head up at Levi who laughed softly, “I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Come on, let's get you upstairs.”

 

Eren shuffled along with him, rubbing his eyes and yawning. When he finally got in his room and said goodnight to Levi, he tried reaching to undo the ribbon on his corset, but his arms were so sore he couldn't lift them. A hot bath would help, but he'd need to undress. Without thinking about the risk, Eren opened his door and stuck his head out, “Levi?” he called, since he was just down the hall.

 

He turned and went back to Eren, “Yes Eren?”

 

Eren looked down shyly, “This is not an appropriate question… I can't reach back and unlace my corset… Will you…”

 

“Turn around.”

 

Eren turned and pulled his hair over his shoulder. He could feel Levi's breath on the back of his neck, the warmth of his hands seeping through his clothes. He took a couple deep breaths as the corset loosened and waited for Levi to take a step back or stop.

 

Levi pulled his corset off and dropped it, setting his hand on Eren's hips. He didn't ever take advantage of people. He wouldn't take advantage of Eren. He saw Eren look over his shoulder, and pulled his hands back slowly, “Sorry… I'm sorry… Goodnight, Eren,”

 

Eren watched him go, still playing with his hair, breathless and blushing. He'd never had someone touch him so softly or intimately. He'd blown a few guys but they never did what Levi had just done. He watched the door close and sighed softly, sitting down on his mattress and calming himself down.

* * *

 

The next day he kept to himself, feeling awkward about the night before. He went out to the stables after cleaning up from breakfast and found Levi in the stables, walking out a few horses to the pen to graze. Eren stepped in and started his daily routine, being fairly quiet and trying not to look at Levi. 

 

He tried to focus on cleaning out the stables while the horses were out and then went out to check their shoes and groom them. 

 

Levi came to stand beside him and started grooming with him, “I want to apologize again for last night. I know I made you uncomfortable… I didn't mean to- I shouldn't have touched you.”

 

Eren stopped and looked up at Levi, “I… I really wasn't uncomfortable… But you left quickly and… I don't know… I just…”

 

“You're pretty cute when you're flustered,” Levi smiled and leaned down, pressing his lips gently on Eren's.

 

Eren’s heart pounded out of his chest, and he closed his eyes, leaning into the kiss. Levi's lips were so soft and sweet and gentle. He was a second away from sighing before he pulled back. He couldn't get involved with Levi. As far as Levi knew, Eren was a girl. If he ever found out Eren could be fired, thrown in jail, or killed. He set his hands on Levi's chest and took a step back. He chewed on his lip and looked down.

 

Levi closed his eyes and kissed Eren's forehead, “I'm sorry. I should've asked.”

 

Eren shook his head, “No… No I just… I'm sorry. I can't get into a relationship with anyone… I just can't. I shouldn't have led you on,”

 

Levi gave him a hug, just to reassure him, “It's okay, Eren. It's fine. Don't worry, okay? If you say you can't then I'm not going to try and make you.”

 

Eren relaxed a little and leaned into his arms. He'd never met men as kind as Levi and the other boys here. Most men would try and force themselves onto Eren or worse, and that was that… But nobody tried to hurt him. Levi told him it was okay for him to say no. He felt safe and at home.

* * *

Eren was helping Petra with her dusting, standing on his toes and getting the top shelves of all the bookcases, polishing the light fixtures. He was in the hall when he saw Levi walking towards him, smiling politely before going back to his work. He was still upset he couldn't be with Levi, that he could only have the one kiss that he'd cut short, but he was used to it and he would let it pass.

 

Levi stopped beside Eren, placing a hand on the wall, the other on his hip, “I've thought it over.”

 

Eren turned around, holding a basket of cloths and cleaners, raising a brow at him, “Thought what over?”

 

“Why can't you be with me?”

 

He frowned and looked away, “It's complicated. I… I really can't tell you.”

 

“There’s nothing you can say to make me not want to be with you.”

 

Eren shuffled his feet uncomfortably and stepped back to a corner, uneasy and afraid.

 

Levi a step forward and picked up his chin, “You do want to be with me, right?”

 

He nodded a little, “Well yeah, but…”

 

Levi didn't give him time to answer, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Eren's, harder than last time but still sweet.

 

Eren melted into the kiss, sinking back against the wall. He had never a mouth lapping over his gently, smooth lips gliding over his. He sighed softly and parted his lips a bit, arms reaching up around his shoulders.

 

Levi didn't keep things slow. He didn't have the patience. He'd been waiting for this since he saw Eren in the park. He swiped his tongue over Eren’s bottom lip and pushed it in his mouth when he gasped, licking over his teeth and the underside of his tongue, taking hold of his skirt in both hands and yanking it up. He crouched down, Eren chasing after his lips and suckling on his tongue with a soft groan, hands carding through his hair and pulling softly to try and bring his head back up.

 

Levi put both hands between Eren’s legs and the wall before lifting him up, holding him against it.

 

Eren yelped in surprise, breaking the kiss and covering his mouth. The backs of his knees were hooked over Levi’s forearms, his legs spread obscenely. Hooded eyes glanced over the new position and then met Levi's, hands still in his hair but their grip loosening, “Sir I don't think this is a good-”

 

Levi leaned in again and pressed his mouth to Eren’s, nipping and sucking at his bottom lip, rolling his hips against his.

 

Eren moaned softly, throwing his head back and letting it thump against the wall.

 

Levi chuckled and continuing to nip and kiss down his neck, “I forget you haven't been handled by a man,” he murmured, “We'll change that if it's okay with you,”

 

He bared more of his neck for Levi, “Yes but-”

 

Levi rolled his hips against Eren’s again, this time more towards the front, brushing up against Eren’s sack and length.

 

Eren bit back another moan and Levi stopped dead in his tracks. Eren looked at Levi with horrified wide eyes. He let go of his hair and put his hands flat against the wall behind him, “Please put me down,” he said softly, his heart racing when he didn't, “Sir…”

 

Levi reached with one hand and palmed Eren, his eyes going wide and he nearly dropped him. He set him down quickly though, before he did drop him, still staring with wide eyes.

 

Eren shoved his hand away, meeting his eyes for one more moment before pushing him away and bolting down the hall.

 

Once he raced up the steps to his room, he slammed the door behind it and locked it, slumping against it with tears in his eyes. He was terrified. He didn't know what would happen to him. He could be beaten or taken to prison or killed. He could be branded and live out his life with everyone knowing what he'd done. There was nothing that could save him from whatever fate Levi decided to thrust upon him.

 

He pulled his knees to his chest and let his lip quiver, keeping himself quiet as he cried softly.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I add gender dysphoria to my tags?? I think I should..
> 
> I personally dont have experience with it so I claim accuracy with how I write Eren, but if you guys have suggestions please leave them in the comments! Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Levi didn't bother knocking on Erwin’s office door before entering. There was no need. He closed it behind him and ran a hand through his hair, blowing out a breath as he walked around Erwin’s desk to look out the window behind it.

 

“Levi,” the blonde mused, glasses low on his nose as he signed another paper, “How'd they sort your teacups this time?”

 

Levi shook his head, wrapping one arm around his stomach and drumming his fingers on his lips, “It's not that. It's Eren.”

 

Erwin looked up, only seeing Levi from the back, his hair sticking up in all directions. He chuckled softly and returned to his papers, “I'll say.”

 

“No you don't understand!” Levi turned around and pulled Erwin’s chair back, making him look at him, “She is a he!”

 

Erwin took his glasses off, raising a brow at him, “I thought we knew this already… Did we not?”

 

“I didn't!” Levi exclaimed, “I just found out when we were in the hall!”

 

Erwin studied his expression for a minute, “What were you doing in the hall that you found out?” He waited for an answer but didn't get one, “So what happened? What'd you say to her?”

 

Levi looked a little flustered, “I… Didn't get the chance… She ran off…”

 

Erwin sighed, shaking his head, “Levi, I love you, but you're clueless,” He patted Levi’s shoulder and stood up, “Finish my papers and I'll go talk to her.”

 

Eren flinched when he heard the knock on the door, terrified it was Levi or a police officer. He wiped his eyes, is makeup running, and stood up, unlocking the door and opening it after a long minute. He was more terrified when he found Erwin filling the door frame. His face went white and he took a step back, a lump caught in his throat.

 

Erwin had to try not to laugh, “You look like you've seen a ghost,” he teased, “May I come in and sit down?”

 

Eren just took another few steps back and sat on his bed, trying not to burst into more tears or panic any more than he already was.

 

Erwin stepped in and sat down in a chair across from Eren, pulling out his handkerchief and offering it to him, “I think Levi was a little rude to you, earlier. I'm sorry. Are you okay? You're not hurt, are you?” 

 

Eren shook his head, looking at the cloth as if it was poisoned.

 

Erwin moved closer, putting a finger under Eren’s chin and making him look up a little while he cleaned up his makeup. Eren’s breath hitched and his whole body went tense. Erwin chuffed out a breath, “Relax. You act like I'm going to hit you.”

 

Eren held very still, looking to meet Erwin’s eyes, “You're not…?”

 

Erwin shook his head, “No, I'm not going to hit you,” he moved back when he was done, giving Eren his space.

 

Eren didn't move, looking Erwin over with uncertain eyes, “What are you going to to then?”

 

Erwin raised a brow at him, “Nothing. Am I supposed to be doing something?”

 

Eren sniffed, looking down, “Report me? Fire me? Get someone else to beat me?”

 

He shook his head, “I'm not going to do any of those things. But if you'd like, I could take you into town and buy you a new dress for your grief?”

 

Eren stared at him, baffled, “I'm don't… I'm confused…”

 

Erwin offered Eren a smile, “Eren, I've known since the day we met. Levi is the only one in this household who was surprised. Even Petra and the other servants know. It's not obvious, just that we could tell.”

 

Eren went quiet for a moment, looking down at his hands, “I… I'm sorry… I wasn't trying to be deceiving…”

 

“You weren't. It's alright,” Erwin tucked the handkerchief away and folded his hands, “I know some people feel more comfortable being addressed by a certain gender, even though they were born with a different one… So I want to ask if you want us to keep referring to you as a girl?”

 

Eren pulled at his fingers, still wrapping his mind around his acceptance, “I… I don't know…” he pulled his knees to his chest, “I usually think of myself as male, but everyone says only girls can like men and-”

 

“Who says?”

 

Eren stopped, looking up at him in confusion, “What?”

 

“Who says that? Not Miss Ackerman.”

 

“Well no…”

 

“And nobody here,” Erwin continued, leaning forward, resting his arms on his knees and folding his hands, “Personally, I don't think anybody else's opinion matters. Even if one of us did say that, it's your life, your body, and your choice. Nobody gets to say what is and isn't acceptable but you.”

 

Eren didn't know what to do with this information. All his life, he thought only girls could flirt and fuck and marry men, because if a man tried to do the same it was blasphemous. He'd hated his body for not being the right one for his sexuality and hated his sexuality because it didn't suit his body. 

 

Then there was Erwin, telling him it didn't matter at all. It didn't matter what anyone thought, and he was allowed to like whoever he wanted. 

 

But… That still left the question… Did Eren consider himself a girl or a boy? He had less of a clue than he had two minutes ago.

 

Erwin rubbed his back, “You look more distraught.”

 

“I don't… I dont know what I am,” he said softly.

 

“You don't have to choose. You can be one or the other, both or neither… Or something else entirely. And you don't have to make up your mind, right now or ever. It's okay, Eren.”

 

Eren sat silent for a bit longer, pulling at his fingers, wringing his hands, “It's okay for me to be a man and like men…” he said softly, trying to convince himself.

 

Erwin squeezed his shoulder, “If you’d like, I could take you out to buy men's clothes? I think after the scare Levi gave you, you deserve a present anyways.”

  
  


Cut to a couple hours later, Eren stepped out of the dressing room, black pants, a brown shirt, and a white coat jacket, his hair still done up in a bun. The shirt and coat were much too big for him, but the pants fit well. “I… I have to say I haven't worn this type of clothing for several years… But I don't remember it fitting like this…”

 

Erwin pursed his lips and took a pin cushion, stepping forward and holding out his hands, looking up at Eren, “May I make some adjustments?”

 

Eren nodded and took Erwin's hands to step onto a box, then held out his arms, letting Erwin pin them to their proper length. Then they came to the torso. Erwin grabbed an inch of fabric to pin, but realized he could take more. He continued gathering more and more of his shirt, “Where is your waist, Eren? Do you even have one?”

 

“I've worn a corset for nearly seven years. Did you even look at me when I was in a dress?” 

 

Erwin sighed, “Yes, but I didn't realize you were  _ that _ small. I'm going to have to measure you. Can you take your shirt off?”

 

Eren looked up at him with wide eyes, offended after ‘being a girl’ for so long. “Excuse me?”

 

Erwin looked up at him, confused, “Your shirt? So I can take your measurements? I'm not going to grope you.”

 

He wrapped his arms around his stomach, “Absolutely not!”

 

Erwin raised a brow at him, “Is there something the matter with your stomach?”

 

“No! But you can't see it! It's wrong!”

 

“Eren, love, we're both men and nobody else is here. I'm your tailor right now. You can be fussy when we're at home. Now please, take it off.”

 

He huffed, turning around and taking off the jacket before taking off the shirt, standing with his back to him, his hands on his hips.

 

Eren was nearly as thin as Levi around the waist, ridiculously small, especially for someone his size. The corset over the years had shaped his body like an hourglass. Erwin’s eyes raked over his body, taking in the way his shoulder blades showed and how his hips curved out to fit into his pants. As much as he loved men, he appreciated femininity and the beauty of a woman's body. Eren happened to be both.

 

“If you don't hurry up, I'm putting my shirt back on,” he threatened.

 

Erwin rolled his eyes and stepped up, taking the tape measure and measuring his shoulders and hips and waist. He could theoretically wear Levi's shirts, but they'd be too short. “I need you to turn around so I can measure your chest.”

 

“No. Skip the chest.”

 

“You're being ridiculous. You nearly fuck Levi in the hall but I can't get a measurement?” He chuckled, amused but not understanding.

 

“My clothes were on then!” Eren hissed over his shoulder.

 

“Everyone is seen naked at some point and you're still in your pants,” Erwin stepped around to Eren’s front to get the measurement, watching his chest seize up with air as he gasped and his head turn away quickly. Erwin was breathless. His collarbone showed through beautifully and his nipples were perfect and dark pink. On his stomach, the barest outline of abs was formed. Further down Erwin could see his v-line dip down into his pants. Trying not to stare, he took the measurement and stepped back around to Eren’s other side, “I'm going to be right back with some clothes your size. Stay here please.”

 

Eren watched him go before tugging a shirt back on and sitting down on one if the chairs, crossing his ankles with his hands in his lap.

 

Erwin came back with several new suits and a few work outfits, making Eren try them all on and show him. Once they picked a few pairs for him to wear until the customs came in, Erwin paid and took their packages to their carriage, then to trim his hair to a length that could pass as feminine and masculine, and back home.

 

Once at home, Eren stepped out of his room wearing one of his suits, his hair tied back in a low ponytail. He stood in front of Erwin and frowned a little bit, “I can't say I feel pretty, but it's definitely more comfortable without a suffocating corset.”

 

Erwin would be lying if he said he didn't like the way Eren looked in his new clothes. The way the material clung to his ass sat on his shoulders. No, he couldn't see his thin waist or beautiful abs, but he looked beautiful nonetheless. He actually had a deeper appreciation that Eren lived with them and wasn't being married off, because there was no doubt he'd have many admirers. “You can keep your dresses if you'd like. We can buy you new ones for you to go out in public in, too. But you look nice. Very nice.”

 

Eren let his shoulders go a little slack at the compliment. He hadn't thought Erwin was making him look nice. He just thought he was helping him feel more masculine. “You like it?”

 

Erwin nodded once, “Yes. Why don't you bring Levi and I some tea in my office? You two need to talk anyways,” he murmured before going out.

 

Eren watched him go, catching the blush creeping on his cheeks. He smiled softly to himself and looked down, wondering what sort of things he could do to Erwin if he got flustered just seeing him in new clothes.

  
  


Eren knocked on the door softly, waiting for Erwin's permission to enter. He took the tray of tea across the room and set it on his desk, stepping off to the side and folding his hands behind his back, keeping his head down. He could feel Levi’s eyes burning into him from the other side of the room. He couldn't tell if he liked it or not. He was leaning towards the latter.

 

“Levi, I believe you have something to say to Eren,” Erwin murmured, taking his cup.

 

He cleared his throat after a moment, “Right… I'd like to apologize for my actions, earlier, Eren,” he said softly, “I was surprised but I should have handled it better. I didn't think about how I might have hurt you. I truly don't care that you like men or dress the way you do. Neither of us do. I just wasn't expecting it and I didn't handle it how I should have,”

 

Eren didn't even shift under their eyes. He kept staring into the grain of the wood, his expression blank, “It's alright, sir. You don't have to apologize.”

 

Erwin set his cup down, “Eren, look at me,” he waited for those bright green eyes to meet his, “It's alright for you to speak your mind. You can tell him you were upset. And he  _ did _ have to apologize, he made you cry.”

 

Levi's expression softened even more and he looked over at Eren, his heart broken, “I made you cry?”

 

Eren glanced at him before looking back at the floor, “A little, yes… I was upset, and scared mostly. I didn't know what you were going to do to me,” he felt pressure build in his chest and a frog creep up his throat, “I thought… I thought I was going to prison… I thought Erwin was going to beat me…”

 

Levi’s eyes dropped to the floor, ashamed of himself, “I'm so sorry, Eren… I never meant to cause you that much pain… But I promise you, no one will ever lay a harmful hand on you so long as we're here.”

 

Eren blinked and let a few tears hit the floor, nodding, fists clenched as he tried to keep himself together. It was over now. He didn't need to cry. 

 

Levi glanced to Erwin before walking across the room, pulling Eren into his arms. Even without heels, Eren was taller, “I'm sorry, Eren, please don't cry… I didn't mean to upset you.”

 

Eren sniffed quietly and relaxed in Levi's arms, “I didn't mean to deceive you… I'm so sorry… I was afraid to tell you… I didn't know what you'd do to me,”

 

“We'd never do anything bad to you, Eren,” Levi promised, smoothing his hair, “We don't mind at all, okay? I was just surprised is all. I'm sorry I scared you.”

 

Eren nodded and stayed quiet, sniffling and wiping his eyes.

 

Levi pulled away and handed him his handkerchief, “Blow your nose for me and take a deep breath. It's alright. You're safe and nothing bad is going to happen.”

 

Eren  did as he was told and wiped his eyes, nodding at Levi.

 

“You may be excused, Eren,” Erwin said softly, watching Eren curtsy instead of bow before scampering off, a worried Levi watching him. “He'll be fine. You however, were supposed to wait until we  _ both _ got the chance to make a move, and that definitely gets you a punishment.”


	6. Chapter 6

Eren set Erwin’s tea on his desk and stood to the side, looking across the room at the bookcases, waiting for his instructions.

 

Erwin took a cup and added sugar, sipping at it while he signed a document, “You can sit if you'd like. I'd like you to stay for a little bit,”

 

Eren looked around but didn't find any other chairs. He smoothed his slacks and prepared to kneel on the floor.

 

Erwin moved his chair back, “Not on the floor, Eren. It hasn't been cleaned today. Come sit with me.”

 

He looked up at the blonde, hesitating. They'd talked about being more intimate at home, when they were alone and the others weren't looking. That had also been a week ago so Eren was caught off guard. Hesitantly, he stood upright and took small steps to stand beside Erwin. Large hands turned him around and sat him on his lap, one resting on his knee as he turned back to his paperwork.

 

Eren sat very still and stiff, worried he was too heavy, worried someone would come in and see. He held his hands together but they were still shaking. He took a slow breath and stared ahead of him. He couldn't look at the document's, and he definitely wasn't going to look at Erwin. His attention drifted to his right, out the large window. Petra and Eld trimming the hedges in the garden, Levi headed towards the house from the stables. The barn cat trotted after him, orange tabby tail flicking side to side in time with Levi's strides. 

 

Eren smiled a bit at the sight and heard the click of a pencap. He turned to face the desk, watching Erwin place an envelope in the desk drawer, pulling forward a new stack of papers to look through. “Am I excused?”

 

Erwin shook his head and leaned back in his chair, moving his hand from Eren's knee to his back, running a finger down his spine, admiring how straight he sat, wondering how well he would bend for him, “Not yet. Stay a little longer. I'll let you know when you can go if you choose to,”

 

Eren nodded and sat straighter still, looking ahead of him at the bookcases, focusing on the spines instead of the goosebumps rising on his arms. The affection didn't last long, Erwin turned back to his papers and began reading and signing again. 

 

After a long while of sitting there, Erwin sighed and rubbed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.

 

Eren looked over, snapped out of his thoughts, “What's wrong, Erwin?”

 

The blonde looked up and found big green eyes staring into his, brows furrowed and lips parted slightly in concern. He shook his head and offered Eren a smile, “Nothing, my dear. Just a lot of papers,”

 

Eren studied his expression carefully to make sure he wasn't lying and nodded a little, reaching up to tuck a stray hair back into place, “I wish I could help,” he said softly, letting his fingertips gently grace down the side of Erwin’s face. 

 

Erwin closed his eyes and leaned into the touch with a smile, “You  _ are _ helping,” he promised, “Just by being here.”

 

Eren moved his hand to the back of Erwin’s neck experimentally and ran his nails along his hairline, “Are you sure? I was worried I was a distraction,” he smiled softly.

 

_ Fuck. _ He knew how to play. Erwin smiled sweetly and leaned closer, “You are. A very helpful distraction,”

 

Eren's eyes flickered down to Erwin’s lips and his smile faded, his lips parted slightly. Slowly, he closed his eyes and leaned down, gently coaxing Erwin closer.

 

Just before their lips touched, several knocks sounded at the door and Eren pulled away quickly, trying to get off of Erwin’s lap, but unable to get over the arm of the chair.

 

Erwin’s face flushed red and he tried to push the seat back, only to find it getting caught on the carpet. “Shit,” he muttered, “Just a second!” 

 

Eren didn't have the room to stand up and didn't have anywhere to swing his feet so he could slide off. A brief moment of fear passed over him, terrified someone was going to catch them like this.

 

Erwin looked around for a moment, “Under the desk, quickly now,” 

 

Eren wrinkled his nose but slid down and sat under the desk. It was actually surprisingly roomy under there and he wondered if it was made to have people under. 

 

Erwin moved the chair forward and leaned over the desk again, clearing his throat, “Come in,”

 

Erwin had placed his feet right at Eren crotch and Eren was slightly worried that wouldn't end well, so he gently nudged his feet to either side of him and crossed his legs. When he looked up again, he had a direct view of Erwin’s front, now on display with how Eren had moved his legs. If his pants had been off, it would've been obscene. His cheeks burned deep red and he sat as far back as he could.

 

The door opened and someone made quick steps in. They pulled up the other chair and sat down in it, setting something down on the desk, “You had tea without me? How rude,” Came Levi’s voice, somewhat amused.

 

“You weren't here and I had to work,” Erwin said back lightly.

 

“I would have been, but I was riding. When I came back, Eren had disappeared. I figured he'd come back after he made tea so I waited, but he didn't show.”

 

“That would be my fault. I had him keep me company while I waited for you. You just missed him. He went to go lay down. He was feeling a little under the weather.”

 

“I see.”

 

Eren listened silently and looked up at Erwin, but he couldn't see above his stomach. It was very quiet for several minutes and Erwin continued scribbling at his documents. He leaned his head forward and rested his forehead on the edge of the chair, trying to ignore how inappropriate it was for him to be there.

 

“The new stallion doesn't seem to like me. I tried breaking him in, but nothing seems to work.”

 

“I assumed that's why you have the crop. You don't use it when riding, usually.”

 

“Oh no. I've been carrying this for… Other reasons.”

 

“I see.”

 

There was another long silence and Levi poured himself a cup of tea, silently telling the other two he wasn't going anywhere for awhile.

 

Erwin reached down with a hand and ran his fingers through Eren's hair gently, scratching behind his ears and at the nape of his neck.

 

Eren closed his eyes with a content smile and nosed into the man's thigh. 

 

Erwin slid his papers to the side and patted his desk, “Come sit, Levi.”

 

The man stood up from his seat and slid onto the desk, placing his feet on Erwin’s arm rests, leaning forward on his knees.

 

Erwin leaned forward towards that cocky smile, pushing his chair back slightly, showing Eren he'd managed to get it unstuck. He pulled his hand back and cupped Levi’s jaw, bringing him down for a kiss.

 

Eren glanced at the opening. He  _ could  _ get through. He  _ could  _ slip away without Levi noticing, but that wouldn't be nearly as fun. He glanced up at Erwin and then back at the bulge in his pants, mustering up all of his courage and closing his eyes, leaning in and nosing against it. 

 

Erwin’s breath caught in his throat for a moment, but not long enough for Levi to notice. He slipped his tongue into Levi's mouth and gently moved his hips forward in invitation.

 

Eren’s stomach turned and he grinned, pressing his tongue flat against his pants, begging for more. 

 

Erwin reached down and unbuttoned his pants, sucking Levis tongue into his mouth and humming softly.

 

Eren helped him pull them down his thighs, followed by the other layers. He finally pulled him out and stared with wide eyes. He'd blown a few men, but none as big as Erwin, neither in girth nor length. He swallowed hard and licked his lips, glancing up before letting out a soft breath and leaning forward. He took him in hand and gave him a few gentle strokes before leaning in and kissing his tip, giving it a few kitten licks as he worked the rest of him with his hand.

 

Erwin gave an especially loud groan and pulled away from Levis lips, kissing down his neck as he unbuttoned his shirt, finding a place to latch his teeth on and keep himself quiet while Eren teased him.

 

Levi let out a breathy sigh and tipped his head to the side, holding Erwin’s head in place and scratching his neck gently, “ _ Someone  _ is in a good mood today,” he murmured, smiling a bit to himself. 

 

“I am,” Erwin mumbled against his skin, nipping and sucking until he was sure he left a dark mark on it, gently easing Levi back and kissing down his front, pushing his shirt aside and kissing at one of his nipples before trying to undo Levi’s pants. He needed to put his mouth around something to muffle his sounds.

 

Eren closed his eyes, listening to the noises the pair above him made, letting his imagination wander. He hadn't been able to imagine someone as dominant as Levi being beautifully submissive as Erwin, but he could  _ hear _ it now. The soft sighs and groans, the gentleness in his voice. He could picture him batting his eyes and biting his lip, laid down in bed with his legs spread wide.

 

He stifled a moan and wrapped his lips around Erwin's tip, sucking at it harshly and stroking the thick vein on the underside with his thumb. He reached down with his left hand and started palming himself.

 

Erwin pulled Levi out and kissed his way down his front, closing his eyes and taking Levi down his throat in one fluid motion, moaning softly as he licked around him, reaching down to Eren again and taking a fistful of his hair and pulling him down.

 

Eren’s eyes screwed shut and forced himself to take down another couple inches, swallowing hard and bobbing his head slowly.

 

Levi leaned back until he was laying on the desk, moaning softly with his hands tangled in Erwin's hair, “Fuck…  _ Erwin _ !” he hissed, “They're going to hear…”

 

Erwin pulled off with a soft hum and tipped his head to the side, peppering his cock in kisses, “It's not like it's a secret,”

 

“But Eren-”

 

“Would love to hear, I'm sure,” Erwin chuckled, going back to sucking with a soft hum, drawing out a low moan from Levi.

 

Eren rubbed his legs together and furrowed his brows, growing uncomfortably hard and trying not to whine at the discomfort. He closed his eyes and swallowed around Erwin again, scraping his teeth against his foreskin as he pulled back, making Erwin shudder. He continued bobbing his head and sucking, turning his head this way and that and fondling his balls with the hand that wasn't down his pants.

 

Within minutes, Levi was writhing underneath Erwin's lips, torn between pulling away and bucking his hips up. He pulled at his hair with a soft whine and gasped, “Erwin! I'm… I'm…  _ Fuck _ !”

 

Erwin moaned loudly in agreement and gave Eren's hair a warning tug, giving Levi one last harsh suck before closing his eyes. Levi shot his load down his throat, filling the room with a loud moan. Erwin swallowed all of it, sucking and licking Levi clean.

 

Eren took in a sharp breath and took Erwin down to the base, nosing into the scratchy blonde curls as he sucked. When Erwin came down his throat, he nearly choked and he definitely gagged, his eyes watering his throat burning as he swallowed most of it. He pulled off to catch his breath, panting quietly. He leaned back against the back of the desk and closed his eyes, drool and cum dripping down his chin and neck. He smiled stupidly, filled with the knowledge that he'd just sucked off Erwin.

 

Erwin hummed softly and kissed Levi's stomach with hooded eyes, “Beautiful, as always…” 

 

Levi peeked down at him and smiled a bit, “You're an ass… We should've waited…” He let go of Erwin's hair after scratching behind his ear affectionately.

 

Erwin sat up and helped Levi do the same, pecking his lips, “I'm saving plenty of things for later, don't worry. Why don't you go clean up and we'll go check on Eren once I've finished this paperwork?”

 

Levi chuckled and kissed his nose, “I'll be waiting forever,” he teased, sliding off the edge of the desk and fixing his pants, tucking his shirt back in. With gleaming eyes he kissed Erwin's cheek, “I'll see you soon.”

 

Erwin smiled and watched him saunter off before pushing his chair back, holding out his hand to Eren, “He's gone, come on out.”

 

Eren peeked his eyes open and took his hand, managing to get out without hitting his head. He stepped to the side and leaned against the desk, closing his eyes for a moment as he caught his breath.

 

Erwin hummed softly and wiped his thumb across Eren's chin, “You look beautiful, Eren, and you definitely know how to use that pretty mouth of yours.”

 

Eren blushed and smiled, looking at Erwin's thumb and licking off the mess, “I'm glad you think so… I was worried that I should've asked first.”

 

Erwin chuckled and cupped his cheek, “Don't worry about asking,” he let his eyes wander down Eren's front, looking more amused once he saw the tent in his pants, “Worry about your cock.”

 

Eren's eyes widened, looking content one moment and embarrassed the next. His entire face turned a deep crimson and he turned away, “Oh my god… I don't… I'm sorry,”

 

Erwin laughed at that, leaning forward and rubbing his back, “You don't have to apologize for being hard, Eren,” he smiled and leaned in, “Come here, let me take care of it for you,”

 

Eren stepped back around the desk, shaking his head quickly, “N-No, no, no! It's okay! I'm okay. It's fine,” he rushed, “I'll um.. I'll come back later to pick up your tea,” he turned around quickly and bolted for the door, rushing out and up to his room.

 

His face was still red when he shut the door behind him, groaning in embarrassment as he shuffled to his bed. He laid down on his stomach and buried his face in the pillows. 

 

Eventually he'd have to admit it. He'd either have to tell them the truth or avoid all intimacy. It was embarrassing though. Levi and Erwin  _ obviously  _ had experience and knew what they were doing. The  _ only _ experience Eren had was giving blowjobs. He'd never received one, he'd never received anything more than a heated kiss, which he'd gotten from Levi. He was a clueless fucking virgin. 

 

How was he supposed to tell them? ‘Oh, by the way, I've never been romantic with a guy before besides giving them head, so this is probably going to be the worst five minutes of your life, but please be patient’?

 

He shook his head and sighed. He didn't want to admit it, and they were bound to ask at some point why he stopped at kisses, so maybe staying away from it all together would be better? 

 

He thought it over until his head hurt, and by that time, two pairs of footsteps came up the staircase to his room. He frowned and turned his back to the door, shutting his eyes tight, willing both them and his erection to go away.

 

Erwin knocked on the door softly and leaned against it, looking down at Levi, “Eren? May we come in?” He waited for an answer, but he didn't get one. He didn't understand what had happened. Eren had been perfectly happy and even a little playful, but rushed out the minute Erwin suggested taking care of his issue.

 

Levi shrugged and turned the doorknob, stepping inside despite the look Erwin gave him. He looked down at the boy lying in bed, frowning slightly, “You don't think he's sick, do you?” He asked Erwin.

 

Erwin shook his head, “No, just tired. Come on, let's leave him be.”

 

“Oh hush,” he murmured, sitting down at the end of his bed and taking Eren's shoes off, “Get me a blanket.”

 

Erwin watched Levi tuck in the definitely not sleeping Eren and kiss his head before returning to his side.

 

“I hope he's awake for dinner.”

 

“Has he ever missed it?” He took Levi back downstairs and left Eren alone.


	7. Chapter 7

Eren couldn't meet Erwin or Levi's eyes for the next couple days. He kept them on the floor or just under their eyes. He wore the suits Erwin had bought out of respect, but sometimes he missed his dresses. On his day off to visit Mikasa he wore one. He dressed up and curled his hair before going out. She had laughed at him when he told her what had happened in the office, said to get laid and get it over with. 

 

Eren didn't find that helpful at all. Levi  _ and  _ Erwin were… Making advances. After what happened he supposed they were together as well. Anyways, what was to happen afterwards if he did let it happen? Would it be a one time thing or would he just be their new play thing? Were they trying to make him more masculine because they wanted him? Did he even want to be more masculine?

 

Eren pet one of the stable horses with a sigh, rubbing the hair on his neck and looking into his eye, “They've doomed me, haven't they girl? Those damned old men…”

 

She snorted in affirmation and stamped her feet, turning her head the other way.

 

Eren picked up a brush and started grooming her, “I think we'll do braids today. You deserve a pretty braid don’t you?”

 

“You braid?” Levi asked, stepping into the barn with his hands in his pockets.

 

Eren glanced over his shoulder and then turned back to the horse, “Of course. Who do you think did Ms. Ackerman's hair?” he smiled to himself, “Or my own for that matter.”

 

Levi shrugged and stood beside Eren, petting the horse's neck and then nose, “Erwin and I have a proposition for you, Eren.”

 

He hummed and moved his hand down her back before moving over, brushing her back, “Do you want me to start making tea more than twice a day? I will but that’ll start to cut into my chores,”

 

Levi thought about it and chuckled, shaking his head, “No. It's not that. Though, I wouldn't mind,” he took a breath and swallowed, “We would like you to join us tonight,”

 

“Join you for…?” He asked as he stopped brushing.

 

“For dinner, in town. You can wear whatever you'd like, dress or suit. Just Erwin and myself.”

 

Eren looked over at Levi, cheeks rosy with a blush, “Dinner? With both of you?” he turned back to the horse, “I'm not sure that's appropriate-”

 

“Neither is sucking off Erwin under his desk,” Levi smirked, looking over at Eren.

 

Eren turned a deeper shade of red, “Neither is making out with the maid in the hallway.”

 

“I believe they were kissing back, and enjoyed it,” Levi chuckled, “Really, Eren. Please think about it. We'll leave at four, alright? Its 1:30 now, so you should have time to get ready if you decide soon.” He pet the horse one last time and left Eren to his thoughts.

  
  
  


At four, Erwin and Levi stood by the front door wearing their suits, waiting. Levi checked his watch and looked at the stairs, “I told you he wouldn't come if I asked… You should've gone instead.” He crossed his arms and looked out the window.

 

Erwin rolled his eyes, “The coach isn't even here yet, just relax. Give him a minute.”

 

They waited a bit and finally Eren stopped at the top of the steps and cleared his throat. He looked at his feet for a moment, slid in black heels and hid by the red off the shoulder gown he wore. He had a scarf draped on his arms and a fan in his hand. He'd curled his hair and left it down, framing his face after he touched up with makeup. When he got the courage to look at the men they were gawking, and he wasn't sure if he should be pleased or nervous.

 

Erwin stopped first, moving to the bottom of the steps and holding out his hand.

 

Eren took the rail and took his time coming down, not wanting to fall. He took Erwin's arm at the bottom and stood beside him at the door, offering a small smile to them both.

 

“You look amazing, Eren,” Levi said softly.

 

“Stunning. We're really glad you decided to come,”

 

“Thank you. For your compliments and invitation,” he said softly, looking towards the door, “May I ask where we're going?”

 

“There's a small restaurant downtown we'd like to take you to. They have amazing food and Erwin likes their whiskey.”

 

He looked up at Erwin, “Whiskey? I took you for more of a scotch man.” 

 

Erwin shrugged with a smile and set a hand over Eren's while Levi got the door, escorting him to the carriage, “I have American taste. Levi however likes wines. Do you have a favorite?”

 

Eren blushed and fought a smile, “I'm supposed to say no, that I only drank wine at church… But I like cocktails… And vodka…”

 

Levi raised a brow, “Oh? You've done shots?”

 

Eren looked away, “My job was to keep Mikasa out of trouble. There was nothing saying I couldn't party myself.”

 

Erwin laughed softly and opened the door for him, letting him in first.

 

Eren climbed in and sat down, Levi and Erwin sitting across from him, folding his hands in his lap and looking away. Words couldn't describe how awkward this was. He didn't know why he'd agreed to this.

 

“So, Eren… We were wondering if you prefer to be called ‘he’ or ‘she’... If you feel one way we don’t want to be saying the wrong thing.” Erwin started.

 

“Or you might like something else, like ‘they’. Or you don't care. Whatever it is, it's okay. We just were curious.”

 

Eren glanced over at them but resumed looking at the window, “I… Haven't decided myself actually. I've gone by ‘she’ for so long, because I feel like I had to… But now… I don't know… I think both is fine until I decide one way or another.”

 

Levi nodded and offered a small smile, “That's fine.”

 

Erwin took Levi's hand and nodded in agreement, “And the same goes for your clothes. You can wear dresses or suits. Whatever you prefer or want to wear at the time.”

 

Eren looked back at them again, “You guys really don't care…? About any of it? You don't care that I wear a dress and makeup even though I was… You don't care I like men…” He said slowly, “You're sure?”

 

Erwin smiled, “Eren, dear, Levi and I have been together a very long time. We don't care who you have sex with.”

 

Levi nudged his arm, shooting him a look.

 

He nodded, “Well, we'd prefer it be with us, but we understand if you don't want to.”

 

Eren’s heart stopped and his throat swelled shut. He kept his eyes down and lips sealed shut. He didn't have a response. He was still terrified they just wanted to use him and toss him aside. He didn't want that. He wanted someone as kind and forgiving about his nature as they were, to love him. To be there for him always, not just in the bedroom.

 

Levi watched Eren pull at his fingers for a moment and squeezed Erwin's hand. He didn't want to make Eren uncomfortable. He didn't want to scare him away and make him leave. On the outside he could come off as cold but he had a lot of emotions when it came to Eren; he might break if Eren left them.

 

Erwin squeezed his hand in return and cleared his throat, “We also don't care what you wear… Should we address you based on your clothes? Or does that not have any correlation?”

 

Eren didn't move for a bit, and his voice came out strangled when he spoke, “I…” he paused, “I'd.. Kind of like to be called ‘he’ when we're at home and alone… Because then I feel like that's my true self and I can show that to you. But in public I'd like to be seen as ‘she’... I don't want any repercussions on myself for my sexuality, let alone what it could do to you if anyone found out… I just feel safer that way.”

 

Levi couldn't imagine Erens struggle. He didn't come from money. He didn't have influence or power. He couldn't bribe people to turn the other cheek on his preferences or hold his status over someone if they threatened to out him. Erwin and Levi had those privileges. But if Eren was exposed, it could be the literal death of him. So he had two choices. He could force himself to live a life that was never comfortable for him, or change who he was so that he could be accepted. For Eren, changing must have been the easier choice. If Levi were in his position he couldn't say he would've done the same. 

 

Levi kept his eyes on Eren's, even though they were trained on his lap, “We will always protect you… You know that, right? You don't have to be anyone you don't want to be. That's your right.”

 

Eren’s lips curled a little at the corners, “I wish more people thought like you,” he murmured, going silent for a bit. He had questions and concerns, and he didn't know how to come out with them without seeming insulting. 

 

“Go ahead, Eren. It's okay.”

 

“What… What kind of relationship do you want from me?” He asked slowly, looking up warily, “I want to know now what to expect in the future. I want to know if you just want me for… for my body,” he looked down again, stomach lurching at the thought, “Or if you want something more…” he swallowed and took a breath, “I don't think I can just be… I can't be a toy. Not after all that you've done for me and how accepting you are of me… Not when I feel like I can explore who I was born as because of you. It would have to be something more.” 

 

Erwin reached over and set a hand on Eren's, one that wasn't in Levi's deathgrip. He smiled softly, “Would we be taking you to dinner if we just wanted to bed you?”

 

Eren looked up at him slowly and then to Levi, searching for lies. He didn't find them, and he couldn't label the look they were giving him now. It was one of those looks they shared with each other when they thought nobody was looking. Softened eyes and warm smiles… The kind of look they exchanged after they shared a moment. “Why me?” He asked after a moment, “I am the least confident, most terrified and paranoid person you could meet.”

 

Levi smiled, “That doesn't make us not love you. So you're unsure and you're scared of society because society is scared of you… Those aren't flaws. Even if they bother you, maybe we can change your mind. Maybe we can show you that you can be proud of who you are and not be afraid to show it.”

 

Eren warned at the thought.  _ Proud _ was a word he had ever used for himself, but he wanted to some day. He wanted to walk with his head held high and confident. “I still don't understand… What to you see when you look at me of not someone completely unworthy? Not a coward and a fraud?”

 

The boys exchanged a look.

 

“You're clever. Sarcastic I mean. You don't take bullshit from us. You're smart too. You're kind and open minded. We've seen that in the way you treat everyone else here. Sometimes people feel like because they have been told what they are is wrong, they attack others for being the same thing. You're not one of those people.” Erwin said.

 

Eren smiled a bit and rolled his eyes, “Alright, so I'm sarcastic but not an asshole. Just like half of this city.”

 

“You're funny,” Levi admitted, “You're funny and kind. Not to mention beautiful, no matter how you dress or feel. You're beautiful outside, but also inside. You have a lot of good in your heart and you always try to extend that to others, especially when it comes to Petra and the others. You're always willing to help them and listen…” He paused, “And you say you're not confident, but there's glimpses of your confidence. When you pick up your chin and flash a smile, or saunter down the hall even when you think nobody's is looking. When you let yourself laugh a little too loud or flirt with us sometimes… Those moments are beautiful, but rare, and I'd like to see more of them.”

 

Eren was speechless. Erwin's could charm him into just about anything if he wanted, but he hadn't expected Levi to be such a romantic, to notice all those little things about him. He felt warm inside and the dreadful lurching turned to butterflies. He smiled and looked down, “I've never shown that side of myself to anyone but Mikasa, and even then it could be fake sometimes… But with your help, I could feel like that always.”

 

The cab stopped and Erwin opened the door, offering Eren his hand to help him out, “Let's start now then.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've been working on this for so long but I have no idea when I last updated? My thing says August 12th, 2018 but I know I updated after New Years at least... Right????

Eren was anxious. Leave it to Erwin and Levi to take him to the nicest place in the city for dinner. He sat with the two of them at the table, hands in his lap as he pulled at his fingers and looked around. There were like… Twenty different forks, knives, and spoons, maybe five glasses, and just as many plates and bowls. All around them were couples and businessmen and people of power wearing diamonds and pearls, other gems and gold and silver. They wore silk and fine lace, beautiful gowns and suits. These people were regal and proud and rich. Everything Eren was not. 

****

He couldn't look at Erwin or Levi. He knew just how well they fit in here. He didn't want to think about how out of his league they were. Not when they had made him feel like something special not an hour before.

****

“I think you'll like the dessert, Eren,” Erwin encouraged, “It has chocolate in it.”

****

Eren nodded and offered a small smile without looking at him, “That sounds wonderful.”

****

Levi poured him a water and handed it to him, “What's the matter? You look awfully pale.”

****

Eren didn't want to be rude or ungrateful. He finally met Levi's eyes and shook his head with a smile, “Nothing. Just something new, something different,” he gestured around them and took his water.

****

Levi eyed him for a moment, “And?”

****

“ _ Levi _ ,” Erwin chided softly, “Its Eren’s choice whether she says or not. Respect her choices.”

****

Levi let out a small breath and tried to relax, looking away, “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pressure you.”

****

Eren watched the interaction. He felt like it was meant to guilt trip him into saying, and he knew he was going to give in. 

****

“It's okay, Erwin. He's just worried,” he looked down at his hands, “Being completely honest, I'm a little concerned you're giving me more than I deserve.”

****

Neither of them said anything, letting him choose whether or not he wanted to elaborate.

****

Eren picked at his nails, “I'm not exactly accustomed to these types of places. You two fit in here perfectly, but I'm not… I don't. I've never been anywhere so beautiful and elegant. It's intimidating.” He looked at his place setting. “I don't come from or have money like these people. I was not taught to hold myself in high standards and keep my head held high. I'm still trying to discover who I am, but everyone else here already knows who they are…” He looked around and his heart sank a little. He didn't know why they chose him when they had their choice of literally anyone else. He shook his head, “I am grateful though, that you thought me worthy enough to bring me along to something like this. Thank you.”

****

Levi held Erwin's hand under the table and watched as the other's thumb dragged across his knuckles, considering Eren’s words and then his own, leaving a silence between them for a moment. “Eren… You don't have to have money, or come from it. Do you really think either of us would be in it for the money if you did?” He teased with a small smirk. 

****

“You're ten times more beautiful than anyone else here, outside, and especially in. You have a huge heart and a gorgeous personality. None of these people have that. And the elegance? That's just a treat. We're spoiling you because you deserve it. You work harder than anyone. You help everyone and still do your own workload, and you have to put up with us all day,” Erwin smiled.

****

Levi nodded, “And it's okay that you're still figuring out who you are. Believe it or not, it's not just you. Everyone is always learning about who they are, whether they say they know already or not. We're always learning about ourselves and learning about others. So don't worry about that.” 

****

Eren smiled at them both and let out a little laugh, “Okay, but I still don't know how to use most of this silverware.”

****

Erwin chuckled, “Just ask us. It's okay. We both started out that way too. We both had to learn. Now it's your turn.”

****

He relaxed fully, and suddenly it was like they were the only people in the room. He let himself smile and shyly ask questions he had worried were stupid, but they were patient and sweet about  it. They didn't expect him to know. This was a treat. A new experience. And that was so much pressure off his back. Now he could actually enjoy himself.

****

 

 

Well. He definitely enjoyed himself. Erwin decided it would be a good idea to let Eren drink three glasses of wine. Which was an entire bottle. So Eren went from shy and a little reserved still to giggly and flirty and almost outgoing. The rest of the restaurant was too so there was nothing to worry about.

****

Levi was snickering as he tried to walk Eren inside. He was letting his hair down and trying to take his shoes off while they were walking, failing.

****

“You have no idea how much these hurt,” he grinned, biting his lip as he tried to slide them off again, “Really! They pinch at the toes and the balls of my feet are killing me,”

****

Levi rolled his eyes and swept him off his feet, smirking, “Then why did you wear them?”

****

“To look good for you,” Eren giggled after letting out a small squeak, wrapped his arms around Levi's neck, looking down at the ground and pressing himself to his chest, “Don't drop me okay?”

****

“You always look good. You don't have to wear or do anything extra,” Erwin smiled, though he was picturing him in just his corset, stockings, and heels and that image was extremely appealing. “Levi wouldn't drop you. You're too pretty for that.”

****

Eren smiled and rested his head on Levi's shoulder and let out a content sigh while they went up the steps. He looked at Levi's neck. It was so pale and smooth. He imagined all the times Erwin had marked it, wondered what sound Levi made when he did. Did he moan and mewl or did he growl and tug at a fistful of Erwin's hair. Did Erwin kiss it without leaving marks? Did he leave chaste kisses while hugging him from behind when no one was looking? He hadn't kissed Erwin yet, but he wanted to. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to Levi's neck.

****

Levi's breath hitched and he stopped at the top of the steps. He hadn't been expecting it, but it was a pleasant surprise. He looked up at Erwin and waited a moment, baring more of his neck for Eren, letting him kiss at it slowly.

****

Erwin hummed and waited a moment before picking up Eren' s chin, meeting his eyes, their faces inches apart, “Eren, we don't want to take advantage of you… But do you want to come back to our room for the night?”

****

Eren met his eyes and felt butterflies in his stomach, speaking before he thought it through, “Yes,” he whispered. He did. More than anything. But… They were probably thinking of doing a little more than sleeping, and Eren didn't have any experience. He didn't want them to know that. That was embarrassing. He shook his head and pushed at Levi's chest lightly, “But I shouldn't. It's… I should go to bed,” 

****

Levi set him down, a bit sad that he'd lost his kisses, “If that's what you want…” he nodded, “At least let us take you to a room then.”

****

“I'll be fine, thank you,” Eren shook his head again and tried to take a step forward but his feet didn't want to hold him and he fell into Erwin’s chest.

****

Erwin chuckled and helped him upright, “Come on, Eren. At least take my bed for the night. We can't carry you up those steps and you can't walk. Levi and I will just go to his room.”

****

Eren continued to hold onto Erwin, melting into his warmth and the smell of his cologne, “I really shouldn't, it's not right-”

****

Levi rolled his eyes again and shook his head, “Of all things…  _ That _ 's the thing you want to be proper about? Don't forget who blew Erwin under his desk.”

****

Eren slowly turned to Erwin and glared at him before turning to Levi, “You pinned me against a wall and tried to fuck me,” he retorted.

****

Levi shrugged, “And I have no regrets. Just sleep in his bed, okay? It's just easier.”

****

Erwin picked up Eren and started carrying him anyways.

****

Eren sighed and tucked his head under his chin. He shouldn't be giving them such a hard time. They were all consenting adults. They all wanted the same thing. He shouldn't be fighting it so hard. And this wasn't even sex. They just wanted him to sleep on the second floor.

 

Levi opened the door to Erwin's room when they got there and stepped in after the other two.  ****  
** **

 

Eren watched Levi begin to light a few candles, and he was in awe before he was even done. Erwin had the largest bed he’d ever laid eyes on. It had to fit ten people. Large mahogany posts matching a set of chairs by the fireplace, a large dresser and vanity, a chest at the end of the bed, and the side tables. The fabrics were all blue and silver and black, a large fur blanket at the end of the bed and a fur rug on the floor. He continued to look around with wide eyes. He'd never laid eyes on anything as beautiful, let alone be able to touch it… to use it…  Erwin tried to set him on the bed but Eren held on tighter, whispering, “I'll dirty it…”

****

Erwin raised a brow, “Its made to be slept on, Eren. You even bathed before we went out, you're fine.”

****

“I'll ruin it,” he shook his head, “It's too pretty. I can't sleep there.”

****

Erwin smiled and rolled his eyes, setting him down anyways and peeling his arms off of him.

****

Eren sat very still for a moment, looking up at Erwin with wide eyes. He carefully set his hands down on the blanket and felt it between his fingers.

****

Levi knelt down and slid Erens shoes off, pressing a kiss to the hem of one of his socks before slipping those of as well.

****

Eren turned his feet away and looked down at him.

****

He smiled at Eren and pressed his lips to his knee.

****

Erwin started pulling pins and clips out of Eren's hair, setting them on the side table. He made sure they were all out before combing through his hair, letting it fall in curls down his neck.

****

Eren looked up. They knew just what to do, they worked together and made Eren feel so amazing. 

****

“Do you want a pair of our pajamas or should we run and get you your own?” Erwin asked, kissing his forehead.

****

Eren closed his eyes and hummed, “Whatever you'd prefer.”

****

Levi got up and brought back a pair of his own pajamas since they were close in size. He slid in bed behind Eren and started untying and loosening his corset.

****

Eren turned his head to look at him and moved away. Nobody had ever done that but Mikasa…

****

Levi picked up. Erens chin with a soft smile, “Its fine. I just want to help you into your pajamas. I'll refrain from groping you.”

****

“Tonight,” Erwin added with am amused chuckle.

****

Eren turned back around slowly and let Levi undress him silently. He let them take care of him. They undressed him and redressed him and brought him water. They pulled the covers back and helped him in. They pointed to Erwin's private bathroom and then sat on either side of him.

****

“Is there anything else we can get you?” Erwin asked, “Are you comfortable?”

****

“You know where my room is if you need anything.”

****

“I'll be okay,” he leaned up and kissed Erwin on the cheek.

****

“Thank you,” he murmured, leaning to kiss Levi, who turned to kiss Eren on the lips gently. Eren let their lips linger before pulling away with a small laugh. Erwin shot Levi a look and Eren rolled his eyes, leaning up to kiss him softly.

****

Erwin closed his eyes and kissed him back, one hand resting on Eren's. 

****

He was more patient than Levi. At least at the moment. More gentle and sweet. He pulled back first and Eren found himself leaning forward, kissing him twice more. Eren looked up at him after a moment. He wanted to stay with them and see where things could go. He wanted to be trapped between them and get carried away. But he knew he shouldn't. It wasn't right and he would be embarrassed.

****

“Are you sure you don't want us to stay?” Levi mused.

****

Erwin rolled his eyes and gave him a look, “Eren isn't exactly sober. Let's not convince him to do anything tonight. Another time, when he is sober,” he chuckled and turned to kiss his forehead, “Goodnight, Eren. Sleep well.”

****

Eren reluctantly watched them go, wishing they would stay. But he had Levi's pajamas and Erwin’s bed. That would have to do. He laid down again and sprawled out, burying his face in the pillows. God… It was so soft… Like he was laying on a cloud, and warm. It smelled like both of them too. They'd shared this bed, probably held each other at night. Would they hold him if he asked? His mind drifted to what other things they might do, but he didn't want to get off and risk ruining the blankets, so he pushed those thoughts away quickly and went back to thinking of snuggles.

****

He fell asleep imagining the three of them sleeping in the same bed, a tangle of limbs and warmth.

****

 

He woke the next morning to a splitting headache and a growling stomach. He was so thankful the room was dark. He groaned and turned to his side, pulling the blankets up higher. God… he needed coffee and to start on breakfast. He still had chores to do today… Why did he drink so much?

****

Getting out of bed almost made him cry. He rolled out and stumbled to the closet, pulling out a shirt and changing into it. He decided to skip his morning routine and go straight to the kitchen, touching the wall or a hand rail the entire time. The sun was blinding peeking through the windows and he cursed it under his breath.

****

He brewed his own coffee and then started on everyone else's, then on breakfast. He was tempted to give everyone oatmeal, but he opted for pancakes instead.

****

Petra walked in, peppy as ever, and looked over Eren with a smirk. He looked… Well… He had only a shirt on-Erwins shirt, possibly underwear, and no pants or socks. His hair was down and unbrushed, cheeks rosy and lips full. “I take it you had fun last night?” She teased, looking over his shoulder, “What's for breakfast?”

****

Eren gave her the spoon to taste and started the stove, “I don't remember most of last night, but I regret it. I have no idea how I got to my room.”

****

“You actually made it to your room?” She looked him over again, licking the pancake mix, “I'm impressed,”

****

Eren snorted and nodded once, “Me fucking too.” Once the stove was hot, Petra set the table and Eren started making pancakes.

****

Oulo came in soon after and ogled Eren before sitting down in the dining room to gossip with Petra. Eld and Gunther followed, grabbing fresh fruit from the ice box to have with breakfast. They exchanged a look and smirked before going to sit with the others.

****

Erwin and Levi were last, to no one's surprise. They had woken up late but had also spent several minutes looking for Eren before deciding to check downstairs.

****

They stopped in the doorway of the kitchen, lovestruck as they watched Eren. Hair down, just an oversized button up. He stood at the sink washing dishes while the last pancakes finished cooking. Levi didn't know if he wanted to cover him up and hide him from prying eyes or sit him on the counter and kiss him breathless.

****

Erwin had already decided on the prior. He stepped behind Eren and hugged him gently from behind.

****

Eren sank into the hug and closed his eyes.

****

“Eren, my dear,” Erwin whispered.

****

“Mmhmm.”

****

“Why aren't you wearing any clothes?”

****

Eren opened his eyes and looked up at him, “What are you on about?”

****

Erwin held still, nose pressed to Eren's temple as he tried not to grin, “Sweetheart look down.”

****

Eren was horrified. He could have sworn he… Oh God… He was like this all morning and nobody said anything?”

****

“I know we said you could wear whatever you want, but you should save this for the bedroom,” Erwin chuckled, “Come on. Let's go get you dressed. Levi can finish breakfast.”

****

“Why do I have to get breakfast?”

****

“Because you two will do the opposite of dressing if I send you,” 

****

Eren led the way to his room, his face bright red. He pulled out his work clothes and Erwin raised a brow, as if questioning his decision. “You bought them,” Eren met his eyes with a frown, “Would you rather I wear the dress?”

****

Erwin shook his head, “It's not that… Don’t you want something more comfortable?” Eren just stared at him blankly, “I mean… Why wear work clothes if you don't have to?”

****

“I still have my chores to do today,” Eren explained and stepped behind a rack to change, “And before you say anything, it wouldn't be fair to skip my chores and put them on everyone else just because I'm hungover. Just because you guys got me drunk doesn't mean I should get special treatment.”

****

“They take days off too,” Erwin pointed out.

****

“This is different.”

****

Erwin didn't argue, but waited for Eren and then escorted him back downstairs, “You really don't have to you know. Everyone knows they shouldn't work if they don't feel well.”

****

Eren sighed and looked over his shoulder, “Erwin, it's fine. Please,” he turned forward again and went to eat breakfast. It turned out to be the most awkward meal he had there.

****

Eren stayed silent through breakfast and then cleaned up and went on with his day, doing all of his normal chores without a word.

****

 

 

After he made Levi and Erwin's afternoon tea he sat down for a break and cradled his pounding head.

****

He hadn't realized how long he'd been sitting there until Levi set the tea tray beside the sink and rubbed his back gently, “Eren, everything alright?”

****

He nodded slowly and took a breath, “Yeah. Just a headache.”

****

Levi hummed softly and kissed the back of his head, “Hm. Maybe I can find some pain reliever for you. Erwin wants you to check in though. He' s worried about you.”

****

Eren nodded and slowly got up, going to his office and finding it empty. He decided to try the bedroom and knocked gently on the door. 

****

Erwin opened it and stepped aside, inviting him in as he rolled up his sleeves, “How're you feeling? Head still hurt?”

****

Eren gave him the tiniest of smiles and closed his eyes a moment, “Maybe a little…”

****

“It wouldn't if you had slept a bit more and rested,” he chided with a smile holding out his hands.

****

Eren opened his eyes and looked from his hands to his eyes, questioning.

****

“I want to see your hands,” he explained, taking a step forward and taking his wrists, “Don't move or say anything for a minute.” He looked down and was silent for awhile before letting go, feeling under his jaw and asking him to breathe. Finally he checked his eyes and nodded, “What you need is some water, salt, and rest.”

****

Eren let his finger skim his wrists where Erwin held him. “Are you a doctor?”

****

“I was once. I was a surgeon in the war,” he explained, closing his drapes and lighting a couple candles, “Now, come lay down again. Levi should be in soon.”

****

Eren sighed and pulled at his fingers, “I havent finished tending to my chores and I-” Erwin gave him a look and Eren shut his mouth, sitting on the edge of the bed. Erwin kneeled down and took his shoes off. “You don't have to keep doing that,” Eren said softly. When Erwin looked up and Eren tucked his hair out of his eyes.

****

“I want to,” Erwin smiled, feeling the breath leave his lungs at the look Eren was giving him.

****

“Among other things I'm sure,” Eren teased.

****

Erwin smirked and stood up slowly, hovering over the other, “My dear you have  _ no _ idea.”

****

“I think I might,” He leaned up and kissed him slowly, feeling more confident when he kissed back, “This… Yes?” 

****

“Among other things,” Erwin teased, setting a hand on his side.

****

Eren’s smile faded a little and he met his eyes again, “I… I'm still not sure I understand why or if we even sh-”

****

Levi stepped in and raised a brow at the two, setting a tray down on the dresser, “Well don't let me stop you. Please continue by all means.”

****

Erem turned his head away as he blushed and Erwin stood up.

****

Levi poured Eren a glass of water and took that and a small snack to the nightstand. He picked up Eren’s chin and looked him over, giving a small smile, “You'll feel better after a nap. Rest.”

****

Eren nodded and leaned into the touch, “Thank you both.”

****

Levi kissed his forehead and pulled the blankets over him, “We’ll come back to check on you later.”

****

Erwin took his spot when Levi started towards the door, “What were you going to say a moment ago? ‘Even if we...’ what?”

****

Eren met his eyes for a moment and shrugged, “I really don't remember where I was going with that. Maybe it'll come to me.” 

****

He nodded and kissed his cheek, “Alright. We'll see you soon. Rest well.” He stood and took Levi's hand as they left.

****

 

Eren woke up from his nap as the sun was setting; his stomach growled loudly, reminding him it was empty. He sat up slowly and looked around. Waking up in Erwin's room was a little more magical this time. The sun was setting in the windows and it cast a beautiful glow on everything. On the nightstand was his snack and water, and he sat up to have it. He wondered if it would still be magical the next time he woke up here.

****

He ate and sipped at his water, letting his thoughts consume him for the time being.

****

Levi came in shortly after and smiled when he saw Eren, “It's about time. How are you feeling?”

****

Eren looked over and smiled sweetly, pulling his knees to his chest, “Much better. I wish I'd listened sooner.”

****

Levi chuckled and poured him another glass of water before sitting beside him, brushing the hair from his eyes, “Now that you're not miserable… How was last night?”

****

Eren closed his eyes and leaned into the touch as he had before, “I… I had a lot of fun,” he admitted, “I felt like I could be myself, no matter what I felt that may be. I like that a lot. And you both kept me entertained plenty.”

****

He smiled softly and paused a moment, “Do you think… Maybe we could do it again sometime?”

****

Eren's smile faded and he turned his head away, embarrassed, “We shouldn't…” He said after a long moment, “You two are first class, respected, important members of society and I'm…” Nothing. He was nothing. He took a breath, “I don't want people looking down on you because of me.”

****

Levi turned and held Erens hands in his own, “I… We don't give a shit about that. Who cares what people think? I can love whomever I please, and I want it to be the two of you.”

****

Eren looked down at their hands, brows furrowed as he shook his head, “You don't want me. I'm just some stupid kid. I have no idea what I'm doing here. I've never been intimate the way you guys are, the way you want to be with me… Even if this does continue, I have no idea what I'm doing. I've never done this before.”

****

“Seen someone?”

****

“That, or… Anything more… Well… Nothing more than a kiss or a blow and definitely nothing on the receiving end,” Eren's cheeks turned red and he looked away.

****

Levi sat still for a moment, squeezing Eren's hands as he thought of what to say. “You've never…”

****

Eren shook his head slowly, “That's why I keep turning you down… Believe me, I want to, but I don't want to disappoint either of you or make a fool of myself…”

****

Levi picked up his chin, “You could never disappoint us, or make a fool of yourself. I'm glad that you told me,” he kissed his forehead, letting his lips linger. “Sorry I tried to take your virginity in the hallway,” he whispered.

****

Eren let out a small laugh and rested his forehead on Levi's shoulder, “It would've been fun I'm sure. Maybe another time,” he teased. And just like that almost all of his fear disappeared. The little things they did to reassure him... They meant the world to him. He knew they were sincere. He knew it already, he was doomed. He loved them.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to do a Victorian!AU forever so I thought I'd try my hand at it. It is by no means historically accurate, so I apologize. Here's just a little introduction to it and some awesome art that inspired me!  
> https://ma-moitie-80.tumblr.com/post/176907377604/my-friend-made-me-some-awesome-fan-art-for-a


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